RECALL NOTICE

RECALL NOTICE: The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

This defect has been technically termed 'Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality,' or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, Jesus Christ, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9.. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes..

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
~~God

P. S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father

That was cute, I forewarded it to a friend of the wife's who she worked with and is all hep on that churchey stuff and with a husband that has his own little church for preaching in.

SamCogar wrote:That was cute, I forewarded it to a friend of the wife's who she worked with and is all hep on that churchey stuff and with a husband that has his own little church for preaching in.

Sam, you're not bad for a Atheisolsticyst. Planning any Solstice displays in government buildings this year?

Yup, at the Charleston Cultural Center on 02/31/2009.

SamCogar wrote:Yup, at the Charleston Cultural Center on 02/31/2009.

Sam, if Atheisolsticysts want to place displays with religious displays are they saying that Atheisolsticystism IS a religion? If so, should their displays be banned?

No way could you get a Atheisolsticysts display banned, ..... why just about everyone reads and likes to believe in their Horoscopes,

Holy crap....I don't even read my horoscope! How bad am I?

Stephanie wrote:Holy crap....I don't even read my horoscope! How bad am I?

Well, it probably says, "Beware of strangers...watch your money...today could be a turning point...you reap what you sow...start early on new projects...finish the job and you will be finished..."

Do you not believe in horoscopes and forms of magic Keli?

I don't believe in horoscopes. I do, however, some people are gifted in things. For example, John Edward is doing something. I'd love to have a reading by him.

You want a reading from John Edwards? What if your husband finds out?

teeheehee

Stephanie wrote:teeheehee

Oh, you meant JOHN E-D-W-A-R-D? Right?

Okay. I see a man...have you had some one...a man...in your family crossover? Yes? Your grandfather? Okay...I see something...you might not understand this...but, he is showing me a small dog...a pendant...he is showing me roses--which means love...the dog and pendant do not mean anything to you? Well, it will come to you. The roses mean that he sends his love...he just wants you to know that he is okay...I sense pain around his heart or abdomen area...did he die of heart disease? No? A car wreck? Well, he had heart disease anyway...there is a young boy there...have you had a young relative cross over...well, tell his loved ones that he is okay and that grandpa is watching over him...he says that you should go ahead with that decision that you want to make...

Want more? Send $1000 to my Paypal account: crockofcrap

As opposed to Benny Hinn or Rod Parsley (or any of a dozen others) who practice prosperity gospel, lay on hands, heal the sick and promise you endless wealth by returning your seed money to them tenfold because God never said you had to be poor.

The only question I see is which is the the bigger crock of crap, the man who tells you he can talk to your dead grandfather or these guys?

Nope, I think that John Edward does something. I don't know what he's doing, talking to the dead, reading minds......I don't know what but he's got something going on. I have never once heard him claim to be able to fix anybody's problems and he says he still believes in Jesus Christ, although he's a Catholic so that's probably not up to snuff for you.

Are you familiar with Edgar Cayce? Have you read anything about him, are you familiar with his "readings"?