unable to believe things for which there is no evidence

Aaron wrote:
I was married for 12 years. While it's not 41, I think I have a pretty good idea of how it works. I also know how it fails and that's one reason I won't go rushing into another one.

Now Aaron, now careful what you say.

Iffen you keep your nose real clean ...... one of these days you just might sidle up close to an uninteresting female ........

and you get a good whiff of what she smells like, then .......

"Another fool will go rushing in .....
where that wise man previously dared to tread."

.

SamCogar wrote:

Aaron wrote:
I was married for 12 years. While it's not 41, I think I have a pretty good idea of how it works. I also know how it fails and that's one reason I won't go rushing into another one.

Now Aaron, now careful what you say.

Iffen you keep your nose real clean ...... one of these days you just might sidle up close to an uninteresting female ........

and you get a good whiff of what she smells like, then .......

"Another fool will go rushing in .....
where that wise man previously dared to tread."

.

Yeah Sam, when I get tired of having regular sex, spending my own money, peace and quiet and I get the desire to listing to nagging, whinning, moaning, bitching and complaining I'll get married again.

Ew, I prefer not to think about my first husband. We were married 5 and a half long years, but only because it took over 3 years for me to be granted a divorce. He contested the divorce, the division of property, custody of our son, everything to drag it out as long as he possibly could.

Going strictly by the date my divorce became final, I remarried 15 months later. However, if you go by the date I actually filed, it would have been over four years. Using the date I left him it would have been one month short of 5 years.

Aaron wrote:
Yeah Sam, when I get tired of having regular sex, spending my own money, peace and quiet and I get the desire to listing to nagging, whinning, moaning, bitching and complaining I'll get married again.

Now Aaron, I'ma tellin ya, ......... the nose knows.

So don't say you were not warned.

If it happens, ....... you will know it happened, ....... but you won't know why.

Here, I extracted this for you to read, wit:

Human Pheromones

Pheromones are social-environmental chemical stimuli (e.g., odors). They are produced by one individual and detected by another individual of the same species. Typically, pheromonal communication elicits physiological and behavioral changes. These changes are expected to benefit both individuals. Pheromones exert their influence whether or not an animal is conscious of pheromone detection; the animal may not be aware that it is responding to an odor.
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(3) the entrainment of hormone cycles in couples, and perhaps in homosexual men or in homosexual women, may be explained either by mammalian male or by mammalian female pheromone production.

(6) men who are exposed to the ovulatory "copulins" of women exhibit an increase in testosterone. The mechanisms involved appear to be some form of "chemical warfare" through which unattractive women may, in the presence of their pheromones, induce a male sexual response similar to that induced by attractive women.
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It is obvious that selection incorporates a visual image with other sensory preferences. These preferences may include odor preferences that are based in earlier learning experiences--whether or not they are remembered.

Similarly, when it comes to sexuality, there is evidence that mate selection may be influenced by a subliminal chemical "scents." It seems likely that an olfactory signature prompts the HPG and the HPA axes, as well as the neurotransmitters or neuromodulators that are associated either with their function or with direct intracerebral effects on behavior, to react to human pheromones in a manner that reminds an individual of something good or bad from a GnRH-directed physiological past. Nonetheless, such a reminder may not enter the realm of consciousness. Indeed, human consciousness would be likely to cause us to "think" our response originated with other sensory, primarily visual, input.

http://cas.bellarmine.edu/tietjen/images/human_pheromones.htm

Aaron, why do you think females douse themselves with perfumes?

.

Stephanie wrote:Ew, I prefer not to think about my first husband. We were married 5 and a half long years, but only because it took over 3 years for me to be granted a divorce. He contested the divorce, the division of property, custody of our son, everything to drag it out as long as he possibly could.

Going strictly by the date my divorce became final, I remarried 15 months later. However, if you go by the date I actually filed, it would have been over four years. Using the date I left him it would have been one month short of 5 years.

When did number 2 come into the picture? Before you even left #1 or after you left him? Not married. When did he enter the picture and start dating him?

LOL

I began dating my second husband a couple of weeks before my divorce from the first became final. By the time we met, I'd actually been granted a divorce, it just wasn't final.

Aaron I get the distinct feeling you're accusing me of cheating on #1. I had a great social life in the years it took my divorce to play out. Until I filed for divorce, I was faithful to him.

Stephanie wrote:LOL

I began dating my second husband a couple of weeks before my divorce from the first became final. By the time we met, I'd actually been granted a divorce, it just wasn't final.

Aaron I get the distinct feeling you're accusing me of cheating on #1. I had a great social life in the years it took my divorce to play out. Until I filed for divorce, I was faithful to him.

No, I'm not accusing you of anything Stephanie. It's been my experience that most women don't get rid of the old one without a new one waiting in the wings. And if they’re the one that got left behind and they don’t have another, then they're damn sure looking. Women don't go years being single and raising kids all by their selves. That's how I see it from my side of the fence.

You're trying to tell me on what I'm missing which is absurd considering my one marriage was longer then your two combined. So what qualifies you to tell me what I'm missing out on? People who live in glass houses aught not to walk around naked, especially once they pass 40. Cover up woman!!!

Aaron wrote:
You're trying to tell me on what I'm missing which is absurd considering my one marriage was longer then your two combined.

Aaron, maybe you didn't consider the fact that Steph is smarter than you ....... in that it didn't take her 7 years to figure out her marriage wasn't working out.



Aaron, you should know, no two ballgames are ever played the same ...... nor do they last the same amount of time.

cheers

Well, Aaron, I was married the second time for 11 years. I loved him when I married him, and I thought he loved me. I dunno, maybe he did. My children claim he still does. He had a funny way of showing it.

I wasn't out looking for anybody to raise my oldest child. I'd been doing it on my own basically from before he was born. When I had him I drove myself to the hospital because his father didn't feel like getting out of bed.

I did want more children, though. I will admit to that. That is a large part of the reason I married a second time. However, I didn't marry the third time for any of those reasons.

He wanted to get married, I did not. I didn't think I wanted any more children and I was convinced marriage wasn't for me. I had done that twice and failed miserably both times. My husband was very young and I felt old and tired and wasn't interested in starting all over again. I thought he was being a fool.

He just kept at it. I don't know what that man saw in me. To this day I still don't know why he wanted me so badly or why he loved me so much from day one. He just did and I'm so thankful. I used to ask him why all the time. I always got the same dumb answer. "Because I can." lol

He's the best person I have ever known. It was hard not to fall in love with him, although I did try. He's the best friend I've ever had and I'm so proud of him.

Stephanie wrote:Well, Aaron, I was married the second time...

Second time??? How many times have you been married? 3???

And you're telling me what I'm missing.

Really!!!



Please woman, I don't subscribe to the "if at first you don't suceed, try, try again..." theory.

I'm glad you've found Mr. Right but you need to bear in mind that 50% of all marriages fail, 75% of all second marriages fail and 90+% of third marriages fail. Do you not see the pattern??? And you pity me because I won't jump into what is mathmatically a doomed relationship.



If anyone deserves pity here, it's you, not me.

Sheesh, and you're going to tell me what I'm missing. And you were serious.

Please.

Yep, you're missing out. I'm not all surprised you feel the way you do, though. I used to.

Stephanie wrote:Yep, you're missing out. I'm not all surprised you feel the way you do, though. I used to.

I cannot totally dismiss what Aaron is saying.

About 10 or 12 years into our marraige we had a really bad time of it. Sometimes I think that only our determination not to allow the other any peace kept us together. Eventually the worst of that passed.

I thought at the time that, were we to be divorced, I would never re-marry. That is what I thought. But what I feel is that I would have soon again jumped into the ocean of love- found a willing soul and we would have, in my father's words, "Put our things together and started housekeeping".

Stephanie wrote:Yep, you're missing out. I'm not all surprised you feel the way you do, though. I used to.

Says the lady who's on her THIRD husband...

Till death due you part. Does that mean you've been killed twice and are on your third life???

I do have a 2 part question for you Steph. Exactly how long were you single between your marriages and how long did you feel the way you think I do???

Aaron, lets look at two of your posts.

Aaron wrote:I was married for 12 years. While it's not 41, I think I have a pretty good idea of how it works. I also know how it fails and that's one reason I won't go rushing into another one.

Aaron wrote:Yeah Sam, when I get tired of having regular sex, spending my own money, peace and quiet and I get the desire to listing to nagging, whinning, moaning, bitching and complaining I'll get married again.

Aaron, those two statements reveal a lot about your "mindset" concerning marriage.

There are various reasons (love, sex, money, companionship, etc.) why two people get married. But none of those are relevant when it comes to "staying married".

The "staying married" part is determined by the "expectations" that each spouse has for one another. And specifically the "commonality" of said "expectations".

And without that "commonality" the marriage will suffer and divorce may or may not occur. And that is why the "divorce rate" has been increasing drastically over the past 50 years. It is now at an all time high because one or both spouse are entering marriage without any "expectations" or too great of "expectation(s)" of the other spouse.

So Aaron, ask yourself, what were your "expectations" when you got married and were any of them "in common" with those of your wife's?

Apparently you already know "some answers" because of your above statement of

"I (now) have a pretty good idea of how it works".

Aaron, I included the "now" because it was implied.

.

SamCogar wrote:Aaron, lets look at two of your posts.

Aaron wrote:I was married for 12 years. While it's not 41, I think I have a pretty good idea of how it works. I also know how it fails and that's one reason I won't go rushing into another one.

Aaron wrote:Yeah Sam, when I get tired of having regular sex, spending my own money, peace and quiet and I get the desire to listing to nagging, whinning, moaning, bitching and complaining I'll get married again.

Aaron, those two statements reveal a lot about your "mindset" concerning marriage.

There are various reasons (love, sex, money, companionship, etc.) why two people get married. But none of those are relevant when it comes to "staying married".

The "staying married" part is determined by the "expectations" that each spouse has for one another. And specifically the "commonality" of said "expectations".

And without that "commonality" the marriage will suffer and divorce may or may not occur. And that is why the "divorce rate" has been increasing drastically over the past 50 years. It is now at an all time high because one or both spouse are entering marriage without any "expectations" or too great of "expectation(s)" of the other spouse.

So Aaron, ask yourself, what were your "expectations" when you got married and were any of them "in common" with those of your wife's?

Apparently you already know "some answers" because of your above statement of

"I (now) have a pretty good idea of how it works".

Aaron, I included the "now" because it was implied.

.

My expectation Sam was that she stop dating after we got married and as for why divorce rates are climbing, there are a number of reasons.

People just jump right in with then next Mr. or Mrs RightNOW without thinking, lust is mistaken for love, money, kids and a ton of others including low or no expectations.

But I believe the number one reason people are now getting divorced more oftern is the law now allows it. My dad left his first wife in 1955 and filed for divorce. He went in front of the judge and when ask why he wanted a divorce, he laid out his reasons. The judge ask her if she wanted a divorce and she said no so the judge wouldn't grant it. He moved out and refused to live with her. She finally divorced him in 1962 I believe when she found another man.

Many, many people who were married for 50+ years stayed together simply because they had to. The law wouldn't let them get divorced.