Obama to Disown Pastor If Hillary Dumps Bill

(2008-03-27) — Sen. Barack Obama, the Democrat presidential front runner, today reiterated his intention to stand by his controversial pastor despite his presidential rival’s remarks that she would have left the church where the Rev. Jeremiah Wright preached racially-charged, anti-American messages.

“I could no more disown my hateful, racist, self-aggrandizing, crazy uncle of a pastor,” said Sen. Obama, “than Hillary Clinton could quit her deceitful, adulterous, self-aggrandizing husband. But if a purging must happen to unite this divided party, I say to my esteemed opponent, ‘You first, Hillary. You first.’”

Sen. Clinton said this week that she would have quit Trinity United Church of Christ, noting that “you don’t choose your family, but you choose what church you want to attend.”

“Apparently, Sen. Clinton was not only victim of an unfaithful husband,” said Sen. Obama, “but also the victim of an arranged marriage — stuck with a husband she did not choose.”