You know you are a liberal if...

You know you're a liberal if...

* You hate Clinton jokes.
* You think trees have feelings, animals can conceptualize, and the fetus is a blob of protoplasm.
* You think a moment of silent prayer at the beginning of the school day constitutes government indoctrination and an intrusion on parental authority, while sex education, condom distribution, and multi-culturalism are values-neutral.
* You agonize over threats to the natural environment (acid rain, toxic waste) but are oblivious to threats to the social environment (pornography, promiscuity, and family dissolution).
* You pale at the execution of child killers, but defend the killing of unborn children as an expression of choice.
* You believe the National Rifle Association helps criminals, while the American Civil Liberties Union protects the innocent.
* Jesse Jackson makes sense to you.
* Barbra Streisand makes even more sense.
* You think Hillary is totally hot.
* You think deficits are caused by tax loopholes.
* You are convinced that proponents of welfare reform hate the poor and opponents of Affirmative Action hate minorities, but AIDS activists who bash the Pope and People for the American Way types who go psycho over Protestant "fundamentalism" are guardians of democracy.
* In your wedding vows, the "love, honor, and cherish" part was replaced with "legitimize, empower, and respect her reproductive freedom."
* You think marriage is obsolete...except for homosexuals.
* Instead of Cowboys and Indians, your children play "Barbaric Imperialists and Innocent Native Americans".
* You own something that says, "Gore for President, " and still display it.
* You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on, "Well, they're gonna do it anyway so..."
* You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
* You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
* You've ever argued that with just one more year of welfare that person will turn it around and get off drugs.
* You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
* You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe/Canada does.
* After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."

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Q: What is the difference between an intelligent liberal and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: What is the difference between a bleeding heart liberal and a puppy?
A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.

Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.

Q: What's a conservative?
A: A liberal who made it through adolescence.

Vote Democrat... It's easier than getting a job.

AND...YOU KNOW YOU ARE A LIBERAL, IF YOU HURRY UP AND TRY TO POST "YOU KNOW YOU ARE A CONSERVATIVE IF..." AFTER READING THIS POST.

"Vote Democrat... It's easier than getting a job. "

Well Terri have you ever had a real job?

Just wondering...

BURNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

shermangeneral wrote:"Vote Democrat... It's easier than getting a job. "

Well Terri have you ever had a real job?

Just wondering...

As a young teen, I caddied at Morgantown Golf and Country Club--weather permitting. (That experience with obnoxious golfers--duffers--cured me of golf!) In HS, I worked as a busboy at the Mountainlair at WVU. Later, I was an ER orderly in the WVU Hospital. I served four years in the USAF. I was a waiter while in school. I earned a BA and MA--which requires hard work. I worked as a maintenance man at Montgomery Ward for the first six years I pastored. And, believe it or not, pastoring a church is 24/7 job requiring a lot of hard work. I have done that for the last 29 years.

(I just wish I had an easy job like driving a truck--just sitting around in a driver's seat all the time. Why haven't you found some excuse to go on disability yet, Shermangeneral? Aren't you trying?)

Well Terri I didnt mean to hurt your feelings ok.

I was just kidding.

I can see I hit a real sore spot but I was not trying to I was being insensitive so I apologize for that ok.

About time you got back to work on that bridge...

Well actually OC I have thought about being a preacher myself.

If I just had a building and a congregation.

And a piano...

Make it Church of Christ and you won't even need a piano!

You don't really need a piano or a building, Sherm. The outdoors can be your cathedral and the birds and insects can provide the music!

ohio county wrote:Make it Church of Christ and you won't even need a piano!

Make it Bedouin and you won't even need a building.

Stephanie wrote:You don't really need a piano or a building, Sherm. The outdoors can be your cathedral and the birds and insects can provide the music!

Now THAT's my kind of preacher, Stephanie.

............................. "I told her in a way that I was prayin' for her, too."

Keli wrote:
As a young teen, I caddied at Morgantown Golf and Country Club--weather permitting. (That experience with obnoxious golfers--duffers--cured me of golf!) In HS, I worked as a busboy at the Mountainlair at WVU. Later, I was an ER orderly in the WVU Hospital. I served four years in the USAF. I was a waiter while in school. I earned a BA and MA--which requires hard work. I worked as a maintenance man at Montgomery Ward for the first six years I pastored. And, believe it or not, pastoring a church is 24/7 job requiring a lot of hard work. I have done that for the last 29 years.

Uh huh, I've known for a long time that your expertise in presenting wit, satire, humor and .... uh uh uh ..... the other stuff, ..... all tweren't being "beamed" to you via that big dish over thar at Green Bank, ...... but I wasn't sure of the "source".

A hard working country boy with experiences and a couple signed sheepskins, ..... and who can "tie it all together", ....... is usually capable of bedazzling and/or PYO when you least expect it.

Top of the morning to you, TH.




.

A hard working country boy with experiences and a couple signed sheepskins, ..... and who can "tie it all together", ....... is usually capable of bedazzling and/or PYO when you least expect it.

But only if Sam agrees with you.

If you worked your way through life and college (as I did) and disagree with him, you are a close-minded, snot-nosed know-it all.

TerryRC wrote:

(Sam) A hard working country boy with experiences and a couple signed sheepskins, ..... and who can "tie it all together", ....... is usually capable of bedazzling and/or PYO when you least expect it.

But only if Sam agrees with you.

HA, my agreeing or disagreeing with someone has nothing to do with what I stated above.

I have disagreed with Hagdorn almost as many times as I have disagreed with you, TRC. And I also "jump his arse" whenever I think he has "pushed the envelope" a little too far. And those disagreements and that "envelope" primarily being on the subjects of religion and abortion.

TerryRC wrote:If you worked your way through life and college (as I did) and disagree with him (Sam), you are a close-minded, snot-nosed know-it all.

TRC, it matters little to me if one "worked their way through life and college" because that in itself doesn't "prove diddly shidt" about said persons competence and capabilities other than ..... they were awarded a Degree. And like I've stated many times before, ..... an inexperienced anyone can go to Sears and purchase a toolbox full of tools, ...... but that does not make them a mechanic.

Terry, most private companies DO NOT hire college graduates just because they have a Degree in a discipline that the company needs employees to perform productive work in/for.

They hire such individuals because they figure that if said person earned a College Degree in that discipline, ...... then there is a GOOD CHANCE they will be able to "teach n' train them" to perform the work they need done and do it the way they want it done. In essence, that is when their "real education" begins. Like Medical Doctors who are mandated to complete an Internship to "learn more" and to gain real life experiences.

And to be really good at it or an expert in their field, one must have those "experiences" along with an education, be it self taught or Instructed, and be able to "tie it all together" via association, logical reasoning and deductions.

And Terry, in addition to, and/or regardless of the above, there are two (2) very important things one should learn: 1) they don't know everything there is to know and 2) it is asinine and stupid to be "picking and choosing" who they are willing to learn something "new" from.

And TRC, you characterized yourself as being "close-minded", .... not me, ..... but I can't really disagree with what you said.

I personally believe you have been "close-minded" and thus "picking and choosing" who you support and/or imply you believe without regard to the content/context of the data presented.

And TRC, you characterized yourself as being "close-minded", .... not me, ..... but I can't really disagree with what you said.

Get your sarcasm detector fixed, Sammy.