My Top Ten Signs of Fundamentalist Christians

I'd like a more light-hearted approach so I'll see if I can do better....Some of this is "stolen."

10-You don't drink wine even though Jesus did but you'll eat pork chops and bacon cheeseburgers.
9-You are convinced that Jesus and His disciples spoke Elizabethan English.
8-You think calling Wednesday "hump day" is a little too racey for your blood.
7-People you have not spoken to for over 6 months accuse you of constantly preaching to them.
6-If the preacher is not done by kickoff, he will have a revolt on his hands.
5-However, it takes longer to say grace than it did to cook the meal.
4-You are convinced that the Catholic church is constantly practicing voodoo.
3-You refer to anyone from east of Poland as "Arabic."
2-You think Fred Phelps is a blithering idiot.
1-You go to church four times a week, but complain when your wife suggests you take out the garbage.